What is your “WHY”??

A few weeks ago, I posted on facebook that 12 years ago that day (July 28th) I spent the night in jail after getting a DUI, it was my last time I ever drank alcohol. I wanted to know in the post what was a life changing moment in YOUR life. Instead I got a lot of “congratulations”, “you inspire us”, etc.

It got me thinking, does it take a life altering event to create change in people and most people haven’t had that yet?

One person said that their kids were their “why” and another said that the death of his father was his “why” and those are both very powerful WHY’s!

Before I got my DUI, I tried EVERYTHING to cut down on my drinking, I even moved from Pennsylvania to Maryland to start over!  That worked for a few years then I found a party group and started to get into my old habits again. Then, I tried only drinking beer, then only drinking before I went out, then only drinking on the weekends, etc, etc, etc.

I had already crashed my car several times, but never got hurt and never got caught so that made it ok, I still didn’t have a WHY.  I never missed work, could drink anything and a lot of it and then workout the next morning and was having a lot of fun!

But when I got my DUI, I was a full time personal trainer preaching to others to lead a healthy life AND I crashed into someone else’s car.  Those two things made me immediately take a FAST look at my life and say:  “If I ever hurt someone, I could never forgive myself and I can’t be acting a fool while trying to inspire others” so that in a nutshell was my WHY!

I needed to make a radical change in my life NOW. 

At first it was easy, I was living with roommates that did not drink, my new boyfriend didn’t drink, my car was totaled and I had to take classes for 3 months through the court system , not to mention I lost my license–all constant reminders as to what I had done. But after all of that faded and the years went by, it actually got harder to “not have just one drink” I have to constantly remind myself of my WHY!

The reason I am sharing this with you is because I believe everyone has an addiction.  Whether it be gambling, shopping, fibbing, drinking, drugs, advil, smoking, working out, drinking coffee, chocolate, salt, overeating or working–if you think about it I am sure you can come up with yours.  Some are worse than others.

If you want to quit your addiction then you have to find your WHY! There is NO other way to do it.

Look at all of the people who go on diets then turn around and within a few months are eating the same way before the diet and gain their weight back and more. They do not have a strong WHY.

Growing up, my dad tried to quit smoking too many times to count.  He did every program from hyposis to accupunture.  It wasn’t until he had a heart attack at the age of 53 & the doctor told him that he would never be alive to see his grandchildren if he didn’t stop smoking.  He NEVER had another cigarette. My dad found his WHY!!

So, I ask you, what is your addiction that is harming your health, your bank account, your family, your friendships, your body image, or your self esteem?

Do you have a STRONG WHY?  That is the FIRST step in moving in the direction that you want to go, you HAVE to get your mind in the game.  Think about it, write it down, talk to others about it and then MOVE ON IT!!

After my DUI, I was so embarrassed and ashamed of what I did I did not tell anyone but my closest friends and family.  That was the worst thing that I could have done.  I internalized everything and got severely depressed.

After almost a year, I started slowly telling people what happened and guess what?  I found out that many people had gone through the same thing. One of my closest clients was even an AA coach.  It was like a huge weight had been lifted.

My advice to you, don’t try to go through any life changing action alone.  There is ALWAYS someone that is going through what you are going through and talking about it and having a support group is HUGE!!  Be around people that will inspire you and help you on your journey.

Change is never easy, but if it will change your life for the better–than it will be WORTH IT!! Hopefully you are going to be around for a long time so the few months or even a year of suffering to make your life better in the long run will make you a happier and healthier person.

Twelve years later, I still crave a beer or Margarita every once in a while but I still have my WHY and it is still working!!  Good luck to you and we are always here to help if you need us and of course you have your dog that will always love you and be there for you!

––The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the WILL to try it and the FAITH to believe it is possible.  –Rich DeVos

Me and my Dad