Death should be a 4 letter word

Death:  We ALL have to deal with it and it is NEVER easy.  Some deaths are worse than others. My father died of lung cancer and was sick for a very long time.  He was in pain and pretty miserable for months.  We got to spend a lot of time talking to him about death and how he felt and tell him how much we love him and thank him for all that he did for us.  When you have time to mentally prepare, it seems that it is a “little” easier to handle.  Saying good-bye is a closure that sometimes helps.  When you get SLAPPED across the face with a sudden death–it seems like it takes longer to heal from the loss. It sucks either way because nobody wants to see their loved ones suffer & nobody wants to lose their loved one unexpectedly with that SLAP!

This  happened to me twice last year and both times that slap hurt really bad!   The first time it was my good friends 3 year old Yorkie, Coco. Coco was like a daughter and friend to anyone that knew her. She was Jack’s little adopted sister. She had an uncanny way of “protecting” everyone around her and sensing when something wasn’t right.  Coco was bit by a poisonous snake in Japan and died at the vets office.  It was HORRIBLE and a SHOCK to all of us. She was so young and full of life.  I couldn’t stop crying for weeks and you can only imagine how her parents felt.    No warning.  No closure. No anything.  I STILL tear up anytime I think about it.  She was on the other side of the world and I could still feel the SLAP!

The second time it was a little closer to home but still 3,000 miles away.  My mom was taken in for “emergency” hiatal hernia surgery and the doctor screwed up in surgery and she died in the recovery room. She was a VERY active 82 year old woman who took care of everyone! She never stopped! She wasn’t sick.  She was the healthiest of all of her friends. She was super active. and BOOM!! She was GONE! I can STILL hear the words coming from my sister’s mouth when she told me over the phone. I SCREAMED & almost passed out.  It was the WORST day of my life.  I was SICK with shock and grief.  I was at least fortunate that I got to spend a week with her 2 months prior. She kept saying that she wanted to take a trip out west so I made that possible for her thanks to a friend of mine.  I thank God that I didn’t put it off and even though I had already been there before, I went because she wanted to go.   I have had many amazing week’s with my mom even though we lived so far apart. We used to get together every year and go to a new place. Our family is very close so it was sometimes with my dad when he was able, my sister, my entire family or just us.  She was so active that I always tried to find new things to do with her.  But, I VALUE that vacation more than any other because I know I took her to where she wanted to go and who would have ever thought that it would be her last vacation and the last time I would be able to hug her.

Since then a few of my friends have lost their beloved dogs very suddenly as well as a few of my friends losing their loved ones VERY suddenly.  It SUCKS!! 

This post isn’t about my grief  but my question to you is how does someone deal with this SLAP?  Everyone is different of course but what is the natural thing to do?  There are 5 stages of grief and I know for myself, that I skipped right over the first one and went straight to ANGER! I was and still am MAD about what happened to my mom.  I am not exactly sure after a full year that I am through the last stage, Acceptance. I struggle with it a lot. It is easier than it was but it sure is hard.  Losing someone you love can take a toll on your life.  It helps to have a support group of friends and loved ones around to ease the burden.  If the loss is your pet, everyone handles it differently. Some have a hard time getting another pet and some have to get one right away.  Whatever helps you heal is the what you have to do.

I work part time in a hospital and some of the stories I hear are very scary.  Our Health and our Life are so precious and either can be taken from us in an instant. I BEG you to enjoy your friends, loved ones and pets as every day is a gift.  Don’t take anything for granted or put off anything that is important to you.  Take that vacation. Go visit your mom. Give your friend a call.  Take your dog to the beach. Meet your sister and take a trip together! Do what you need to do because there is no guarantee that tomorrow is going to be here!

Nobody is on their death bed wishing that they worked more!